How Many Lives Do You Touch?

Josh at Becoming Minimalist had a very thought-provoking post earlier this week about influence and how people are constantly striving to have more of it. The main idea of his post is that each of us already has a ton of influence.

Doubting Our Influence
It’s easy to fall for the belief that we are all just one little gear in the machine of life. It’s easy to believe that our individual actions do not have an impact on the world around us. With more than six billion people on the planet, that belief is certainly understandable. Maybe it’s just the lazy way out, but we often downplay our importance and use this to rationalize our decision to not be that positive, uplifting presence.

You Touch More People Than You Think
However, using the analogy of being a gear in the machine, you don’t have to actually touch every other gear to have an influence on them. Think about it. If you greet the person at the coffee shop with a smile and ask how their morning is going, if you hold the door open for someone at work, if you come home and give an encouraging word to your spouse, help your child do their homework or learn a new concept, and send a friend an encouraging message on Facebook (or even better, on the phone), that adds up to five influential actions. That’s five other gears that you’ve put into motion. And who knows how many other gears each of those will touch and put into motion, all as a result of your actions. There’s a new television show on Fox called “Touch” that does a pretty good job at illustrating this concept. One action done at the right time can trigger a series of events and have a positive influence on a whole chain of people.

The Ultimate Influence
Our little boy is now just over a year old. At this point in his life, virtually everything he learns is from my wife and me. As parents, we have a tremendous influence on our children. Consequently, we have a (smaller) influence on every single person our children will come into contact with. When you think about it that way, it’s easy to see how important it is to be an example of compassion, responsibility, integrity, and hard work. You may never actually meet the people you end up influencing; just know that you are making a difference.

Happy Mother’s Day

I told our little Tyler that it was Mother’s Day and asked what he’d like to do

He said that mommy deserves gold and diamonds, or at least to go on a cruise

I told him mommy certainly deserves that, but those are things we cannot really do

So he said he would write a poem, straight from him to you:

Mommy,

Thanks for all the things you do
For feeding, bathing, and changing poo

Thanks for staying home with me
And being the best any mommy could be

I know taking care of me all day makes you tired
And sometimes when it’s time for bed I’m still really wired

Just know that with all you’ve done and all you do
I’m lucky to have a mommy like you

Happy Mothers Day!

Our Parenting Mission Statement

I’ve mentioned on here several times that my wife and I have a little boy who just turned a year old last month. Well, while we were expecting our baby boy’s arrival, I stumbled upon the idea of having a parenting mission statement. Much like a company’s mission statement, our parenting mission statement presents our guiding principles and hopeful results of what we will strive to do and achieve as parents. Any new parent knows that it is an awesome responsibility, and my wife and I take it seriously. Below is our parenting mission statement, which we printed, signed, and have posted on our refrigerator. In full disclosure, I did not write all of this. I found a great example online that I absolutely loved. I couldn’t write a better one, so I just changed bits and pieces here and there.

Our Parenting Mission Statement
We will work together as partners for the best interests of our children. We want them to be functioning, responsible, healthy, respectful, content, and headed towards a purposeful life. We want them to enjoy childhood, full of memories and traditions. We will do whatever we can within our power to provide the environment they need to achieve that: with loving structure, natural and realistic consequences, shelter, stability, nurtured individuality, and an environment that encourages safe learning. We will strive to have an environment with respect and nourishment – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, so that they may experience the fullness of life and their own individual potential.

Though we may not always agree, we will work to present a united front, postponing decisions on discipline until we have time to not only rationalize, but to communicate and reach a mutually acceptable decision.

We will strive to listen to all sides of a conflict, independently and without interruption, so that we may make the best choice for the child involved. We will also work to recognize each child’s personality, their strengths and weaknesses, and how to approach and parent them effectively without letting our own preferences in parenting influence us. Every child is different and responds best to techniques tailored to them.

We will be open to discussing any and all matters regarding our children so that miscommunication and tension are minimized. Each of us will strive to parent the children to the best of our ability and care for them completely. We will not allow ourselves or anyone else (children included) to treat or speak disrespectfully to either of us.

We agree that when we discipline, it will be fair, consistent, and agreed upon. We will also ensure that the child is informed that the discipline a result of the behavior or decision, not because of the child as a person.

We also agree that if a mistake is made, we will first allow the parent who made the mistake to correct it, and then have it gently and positively reinforced by the other parent, to the children. We will both strive to be an understanding, consistent and stable person in our children’s’ lives, and make sure that they know that we will be there for them.

We will not undermine or otherwise create the appearance of division to the children, and if we do, we will strive to reinforce our unity to them as soon as possible.

We will work together to be the head of our household and to allow our children to be children. We will work to create a safe environment for our children, guided by structure and predictability.